Coffee Time!

Dare...to Fail

2012-02-09T09:44:00.000-08:00

or The Recipe for Despair

That's not easy. For some daring to fail it's unthinkable. Would you like your child like this? Get some insightsinto the psychological build-up of dare-to-fail failures. This will help youbuild up the perfect candidate out of anyone, even adults. If you dare to fail,of course! So, here are 10 rules to follow everyday:

Rarely greet your child. When he says Hi, don't respond.
When he/she walks in the room, don't look at him (never smile!).
When he/she ask a question, pretend you are busy and don't respond.
If he/she nags you, insisting, answer irritated: What do you want?
Never praise him/her for anything good they did.
In everything they do: always look for some imperfection to criticize.
If you don't find any flaw, simply keep a sober face and don't say a word.
Always compare him/her with another better-than-you child/person.
Encourage apathy - sit still! - as the best behavior. Initiative is punishable.
Never hug or empathize with your child – blame him for any pain he experiences.

The key is CONSISTENCY. Be sure to follow these everyday and the result is guaranteed: a person who willnever dare to cross the line and will always play on the safe side, becausefailing is the worst that can happen to him/her. The slightest failure will be like aslaughtering machine for their core identity. Trust me, they will make sure toNOT DARE to fail.

So, now you know which strings topull. Happy manipulation!

p.s Written in a sarcastic manner, this is thereality of many peoples’ lives who grow up in dysfunctional families, wherethey never feel truly loved and accepted, doing their best to cope. Growing up,these are people who lack the resilience needed to succeed in life, successbeing defined as a sense of fulfillment and peace about one’s life. They aregreat achievers, yet deeply unhappy inside. Nevertheless, there is hope forrecovery, if they manage to find loving, healthy relationships, even if later inlife, and learn to accept themselves unconditionally.

My Chicken Identity & The Bribe

2011-01-20T11:19:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here trying to write my paper...I picked the Development of Old Age and Related Issues. I'm just curious about this topic. Besides, I don't think anybody else picked it. But, my mind is drifting away...

The statements of the psychology teacher that women have evolved from chicken are echoing in my ears... Yes, she was dead serious about it. She says she saw the comparison between brains and that they look similar. Also, she asks: "Did you notices how chicken are looking at the sun? Tilting their head on one side? Women do the same."

I guess there are exception, as with anything... But isn't it just so confidence-boosting? It so builds up self-esteem and helps a great deal, if one is uncertain of his/her identity. It's great to finally know you are kin-souls with a chicken. To feel the connection, when you're about to have it for dinner...

However, this issue is quite insignificant when compared to another reality of life: bribing the teacher to pass the exam. That's what I hear students talk about. They seem to prefer this over preparing for it. I hear the lady next to me, sharing: "I need new shoes, but my husby tells me: 'Your shoes will go into Mr. IT teacher's pocket.'" I'm taken aback. What do you mean? "Oh, I don't know if I will pass the exam. So, that's what my husby advised me."

I'm shocked. I recall that teacher - acting more like a gestapo officer, then a teacher (read more in my next post). I reply: "That man? You are paying already to study here. You are paying to get knowledge. It's his responsibility to teach you. Why would you bribe him?"

Yes, but he is the son-in-law of the school owner... and somehow he has hinted about the rates for the exam. Or maybe the people here, with their bribe-inflamed mentality, are reading into things?

So, what? - this would be my reply. But most don't think so... They live in tandem: I didn't study, I can't object to paying. You don't pay, you don't pass. It goes without words and it's convenient. Money solves it.

And when you think that the exam is writing a text and knowing where to indent it, how to start a new paragraph and how to make some words bold and Italic... Of course, it's hard for a beginner.

Why does it bother me?

My Wonderful Life in MD: Warm Me Up with Love!

2010-10-10T13:49:00.000-07:00

It's bloody cold. It's been like that for over 2 weeks. Lately it also started raining. I don't mind any of these. Not at all. Not if...

…if I just could return to a warm home… It's that simple. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, to be brave. I tell myself: this is not a problem, it's ok. Except, I hate the cold. I hate the way it makes me feel, the way it impairs my capacity to... anything. But... I've got to be brave. I can handle it.

I like the good intentions of our mayor to turn the heat in the city. The only small, insignificant thing is that they don't warm me up. But I've got to be patient. It just isn't my house's turn yet. Why can’t we just turn it on when WE need it? Wasn’t c o m m u n i s m just a wonderful idea?

Meanwhile, if you find yourself in similar situation, know there is someone who can sympathize with you. If that is of little relief, here are some tips to make you warm at least for a while:

1. Drink plenty of hot tea - ginger root is the best for its spicy flavor that can make you hot.

2. Do a half an hour to an hour workout - it will strengthen your muscles, get your blood circulating and make you almost sweat. I say almost because the icy temperature won't let that happen.

3. At night, fill an empty plastic bottle - whether it’s of Coke or Mountain Dew, it won't make any difference - with hot water and toss it under covers. If you are single, this is especially recommended.

4. During the day, turn on the oven, then open it and let it run for a while, until your..., kitchen this time, reaches the desired temperature. Of course, I must mention that your kitchen would have to serve as an office for the time being, so you might consider relocating your computer. I hope you don't get as desperate as to turn it into a bedroom, which... should I tell you?.. ok, well, I'll confess, such are my intentions for tonight - but keep it a secret.

5. Occasionally, opt for a hot tub - just keep in mind after that you still return to a cold bedroom. So, if you don't mind the aftershock, go for it.

Of course, you can always buy a heater and skip some of the above. Just make sure you get a better one then mine, which after it ran for the whole night, didn't even cut the air as we say, meaning all it accomplish was leave me anticipating a fat electricity bill at the end of the month.

Besides finding this useful, I hope it made you smile and say a prayer for me – that will surely warm my heart up, though my nose will remain cold, perhaps.

A Midsummer Nightmare (not by Shakespeare)

2010-01-01T12:35:00.000-08:00

Whew! What a life! Can it really be more thrilling? Listen to this...

I'm sitting here in my little room in my big, empty house after a day of work. And what work? I'm almost afraid to say, 'cause you might get jealous. But I'll risk. Carrying clay and horse manure to my aunt who is helping me repair the stove... winter is coming. Yeah, that's what we use here for such works. I've got to mention gluing wallpaper to the walls... have I ever dreamed of anything like this? But it's worth the reason. 'Cause see...

... another exciting thing is the small group with the teen girls from the village. We talk about life and adventure and traveling and my best friend J. Oh, we also play fun games and drink hot tea. So, I'm getting the room ready. :)

However exhilarating that may sound, I must tell you, it is not the last highlight of the day yet, 'cause then I retreat to my little room to watching one of my favorite movies, the kind with spiders and magic. Yeyyyy! Spooky stuff. And... I hear some increasing noise under my sofa, around my desk, scratching and trotting... Like something is coming... Hoah! That would have scared you, but not me. I'm used to that by now - my all time companions. The mice! Now, I have to admit they are going a little over board around here...

In the middle of the movie they are playing Catch-me-if-you-can with each other. Excuse me!!! Can I have a private moment here! But that's not all. Listen to this: They pick from behind my books and look at me with those small black eyes to make sure I'm watching... How cute! *(&^(@# Just like little children...

Another thing that puzzles me is: why I found that a sleeve on my white blouse was kinda damp and stinky and, yeah, sort of yellowish?.. Hmmm... curious.

My wonderful mother, of course, did buy some poisoned grain, to control the mice population taking over, but instead of pouring it in all their holes...oh, yeah! there are plenty - my little 2,5x3,5 meter room, has about 5. I guess they like me... As I was telling you, my Mom, who is wonderful and who got a big pack of poisoned grain, decided to make it tough for them. Why should she make it easy, anyway? They didn't deserve it. So, she put the whole package in the sofa... Let them find it.

She was nice though - at least she has opened the package for them. But... surprise!!! up to this day she wonders why the mice are still dancing around, playing hide-and-seek and after more than a week the package goes untouched. Maybe it's that the now-a-day generation of mice is really smart?!

So, I did them a favor and imparted the grain lavishly in the easier-to-reach holes. If nothing happens then my Modern Mice High IQ hypothesis is true.

And now I'm sitting here listening to Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (a man after midnight) . Oh, no. Terrible! Of course, it's not related to catching mice or anything else. Hey, hey... watch your thoughts out there!!! It's just that I've watched recently the Mama Mia movie, and I really liked it, so I'm playing the soundtrack now... Sure, I'd totally recommend it if you are in mood for something hilarious, light and romantic.

I Hope Your Life Is Just as Inspiring. If you feel bored or unhappy over your circumstances in general, please, be my guest. I promise you'll have fun. As a bonus, you'll leave with the right perspective on things. :) But maybe you'll love it here so much that you won't want to leave after all. Who knows...

To Laugh or Not to Laugh? USA in Retrospective (part 3)

2009-10-27T02:45:00.000-07:00

In the US people always excuse themselves when passing in front of you, while shopping or on streets, etc. For someone not used to that it can become annoying at some point. In Moldova they will step on your toes and won’t say a word. Or ,they will yell at you to get your feet out of the way.

US boys seem bolder about inviting a girl out, no strings attached. If they like a girl they go for it, giving it a try, just for fun. They are, also, freer in expressing their affection. Christian boys won’t act so freaked out, when it comes to giving a girl an encouraging friendly hug or a good-bye hug. Ha-ha!

When boarding on a public bus in the US, the driver patiently waits for people to get off and on, usually slowly. The bus lowers to the sidewalk level, so that people can board easily; for invalids a ramp opens up. In Moldova the driver will yell at you: C’mon, move faster, up, up! Hey, old lady, what’s taking you so long?

If a person takes a dish or some refreshments when visiting a friend and there are leftovers, in the end, the person who brought the dish will take them back. Unheard of in Moldova! Here it will be considered an act of stinginess and gossip will go around.

When you go into a shop in the US, even if you won’t buy anything you are still treated nicely. In Moldova, they usually frown upon customers that don’t buy anything, often giving you the look or telling you straight forward: “If you won’t buy anything, get out of here. Stop messing through my stuff!” But things change if you are a foreigner… they know you’ve got the money.

I'm sure things vary across the country, but I hope you had fun reading this.

USA in Retrospective: Curiosities and Impressions (continued)

2009-06-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

On Culture…

In the Pacific Northwest there is a large cultural variety, freedom of expression and artistic creativity. People dress from very sloppy to very weird, wearing 18the century costumes, or bright outfits on streets, driving unusually shaped motorcycles and engaging easily in a conversation with a stranger.

Art
The variety and options one has are endless. There are all kinds of dance classes one can take, all kinds of dance clubs one can go to: ballroom, Irish, Hip-hop, Arabian, Bhangra (Indian), pure Salsa, 80th, soul & funk, etc. All genres of music to learn. All these for any age- 3 to 80. All kind of churches to choose from.

Art takes all forms of expressions, whether it’s paintings, handmade items, music and there are opportunities to learn just about anything: leather crafts, such as beautifully impregnated belts, etc. wood carving, jewelry making, beads making, fancy cooking, dog training, acting, instrument playing…

In Portland you will find plenty of gigs in acting, singing, dancing, modeling, and so on and so forth, taking into account the artsy mood of the place. Many theaters and two film schools are in the area. However, art, as anywhere, is not well paid, so the artist often has to get odd jobs to pay the bills.

Cuisine
There are all kinds of cuisines to be tried: Mexican, Indian, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Greek to name a few. Lots of places to go and have dinner. There are lots and lots of jewelry and items from all around the world for sale. There are stores ranging all styles and prices. Very accessible price wise.

Science
US is where a lot of scientific research and development is taking place, so there are as many possibilities to explore science, as exploring arts. Young boys and girls already know what they are getting into when they decide to pursue sciences.

Being a place of great diversity, Portland has a lot of IT geeks, especially with Intel Company there. However, many broke away from Intel, unwilling to deal with its rigid and demanding culture, that sucks all out of you. So, there is a lot of intellectual capacity that go into start-ups.

Live IT forums take place usually at local breweries, such as Green Dragon, etc. micro-breweries being a trademark of Portland. That’s where any IT savvy can exchange information with other, this being seemingly a great opportunity for keeping up to date, as well as developing community.

Tourism
There are many beautiful places to visit, such as mountains, the ocean coast, the arboretum, the zoo (animals living in a close to natural environment, not in cages) river walks, beautiful bridges across Willamette river, the mountain gorge with waterfalls, the downtown with light decorated trees, etc.

Since there are so many cultures around, there is room for all of them to practice their own religions, traditions, interests as well as open up, inviting others to experience it, via their dances, food, art, religion. They set up businesses: restaurants, shops, neighborhoods (ex. Japanese Gardens, China Town).

USA in Retrospective: Curiosities and Impressions

2009-03-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

On People…

Portland is very much community oriented. People are usually very friendly, networking, creating relationships, open to help each other, hang out with each other, that’s why the laid back feel of Portland as opposed to cold, living in a bubble lifestyle in cities like New York and Los Angeles.

People in US can be as miserable as in any country where the living conditions are far worse. There is discontentment with what they have, worry, anxiety, stress and depression. There is lack of values and purpose in life. People commit suicide.

There is much more superficiality in relationships. People are nicer outwardly, but it doesn’t always reflect what they mean. They are just as reluctant and hesitant to trust others and be open. They usually hide their true feelings under a smile.

In the Pacific Northwest particularly, people are very environment conscious, almost going to extremes, telling you when going into a forest were you are supposed to step and where not. They care about animals and wildlife, sometimes more then about people.

On Lifestyle…

There are many old people, living alone in huge, large houses, with lots of stuff accumulated: furniture, canned food, cleaning supplies, tools, clothes, electrical appliances, cookware, etc. etc. This will all get thrown away or sold for pennies after they die. I thought of the many in Moldova that lack the basics.

There are plenty of gay people outwardly showing their orientation. There are pastors who are gay that live with their partners. The mayor of Portland is gay involved in a scandalous affair, because he lied he had sex with an intern, prior to his election in the office, before that boy turned 18.

A lot of the bums there are dressed better than many people in Moldova, meaning you’d never guess that is a bum. There are services that take care of them, so that according to the official statements, there is no reason for anybody in Portland to go hungry.

People there are used to recycling everything, so they will never throw all trash in a pile. They separate glass, paper, newspaper, carton, tin cans (after are cut, washed, bent flat, and the paper tag removed) yard waste (leaves, grass, branches), plastic, and then what is left goes to regular trash.

On Religion…

There are all kinds of churches, however, people follow various religions, a lot into Buddhism and its various implications. Churches that accept gay people usually hang out a multicolored flag outside the building. Churches remain rigid and opinionated about things, this way often pushing people away.

Stii Ce Conteaza Cel Mai Mult?

2007-05-28T04:40:00.000-07:00

O relaţie. Fuziunea delicata a două ființe umane. O întrepătrundere complexă a două vieți; a două stări sufleteşti, mentalități şi temperamente. Două inimi reunite, inimi care caută consolare şi siguranţă.

O relaţie. Are mai multă putere decât o bombă atomică şi mai mult potențial decât cea mai promițătoare sămânță. Nimic nu îl determină pe un om să aibă mai mult curaj, decât o relatie. Nimic nu aprinde mai tare inima unui patriot şi nu îndepărtează mai bine cinismul unui rebel, decât o relatie.

În viată nu contează atât de mult pe ce poziții ne ridicăm şi nici ce posesiuni acumulăm. Ceea ce contează cel mai mult sunt relațiile.

Ce măsuri îti iei ca să-ţi protejezi „posesiunile”? Ce interprinzi pentru a avea relații sigure şi sănătoase? Ce faci pentru a consolida podurile dintre tine şi cei din lumea ta?

Stăpânul nostru cunoaşte valoarea unei relaţii. El a schimbat lumea prin relaţii. El a acţionat nu prin forţă, ci subliniind valoarea unei persoane. A construit poduri şi a trecut pe ele. L-a atins pe lepros, i-a unit pe înstrăinaţi, a considerat valoroase persoanele cele mai păcătoase. Ce-a spus El despre iubirea semenului ca pe sine insuşi?

Omul care consideră oamenii mai valoroşi decât posesiunile materiale este un om înţelept.

Max Lucado

The Wise Woman

2007-04-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.

But, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."

Sometimes it's not the wealth you have but what's inside you that others need.