One unfunny thing about living in London is that there is no snow in winter. No. And when there is any resemblance the whole system is stunned. Immobilized. Disoriented.
After Christmas went by uneventfully and I've heard rumors of friends going skiing, I sort of regretted not being a bit more creative in this regard. "Next winter", I said and put my mind to rest.
This winter was too cold. Not cold enough for snow, but neither very mild. So, I was looking forward to spring. Snowdrops and other blossoms all around in the middle of February, until one morning I pulled the curtains to a whole new scenery.
Winterland everywhere. I double-checked my location: still London. It turns out the "Beast from the East" was here. And it wasn't planning to leave soon. In fact, it was prepping the party grounds for Storm Emma. Can't say everyone was excited. But children were for sure.
And so was I. This was my chance at winter. If I didn't get to go the Winterland, winter came to me. LOL Can't complain.
I took a looong trip to Rochester thru the stormy weather, where my friends discovered a hill full of snow. The sole purpose? To go sledding and see Clopotsica, the gorgeous snowoman my friends built.
Got back home so late - that train was slow! But the adventure was worth every effort. Have a look for yourself!
Today it's March 19. And for the last three days, winter is cycling back. It must have taken the wrong turn. Or it got lost. Or maybe it's time to adjust our calendar and start Spring in April. Or May. Maybe the hemispheres are swapping. Maybe...
So... Did you see my previous post? I was testing my vlogging abilities. It's one thing to speak smth in front of a camera. Is another thing to make it meaningful. AND an entirely different thing to actually post it, so that everybody will see. I admire those who have the gut. For some I wish they didn't. LOL! But let the ranting about hiking continue.... with part 2. Why Moldovans Don't Hike?
And yes, there is part 3... My Favorite Places to Hike
I hope it's somewhat useful and entertaining... Once I learned to laugh at myself, it cracks me up every time I watch it - esp. part 1. Thank you for taking the time. Big hug! Leave a comment. Even if cheesy.
Didn't I say I want to start vlogging? As a goal for this year?
Haha! The truth is I had this idea years ago... but why did I never see it to the end? That's a good question I will explore in a different blog post or Vlog now?
In all, like many others I"m just nervous. What if...? And the list goes on. And I hide. Being cheesy is one way of doing it. But it's not the worst way, right?
So, here is a video I filmed less than 3 year ago.
Looking at it now, I'd say it's not too bad of a start. Why didn't I... Well, it's up now! Yey, what a progress.
Do you think you could give me some of your thoughts?
What do you think of Cheesy Me as a name? Is it too cheesy or do you think I could do better? I also played with the Conceptual Me idea in the past. So, which one???
Today, on New Years Eve, I thought I should write something that would still be this year. It's all relative. It depends on where you are. I hear endless fireworks already outside celebrating its coming. In some places folks have already gone to bed and in my city it hasn't arrived yet. So, I still got time. This past years has been difficult, but also full with so many good things. From the news I know it's been hard for many and brutal in some places. As far as I'm concerned, I'm glad I'm not a celebrity and that I'm still alive. I'm sad for those whose lives have been interrupted by war or loss of close ones. Next year I want to start a vblog. It's been on my mind but I never pursued it fully. Been thinking what will I say and hasn't it already been said enough. Will people like it? Would it make any difference? Maybe it will. Maybe I will. ;) Sometimes I want to be silly, but then I'm thinking isn't there enough silliness in this world. Then, I find out that people like it silly. Why take it seriously. Where is the balance? Why would I be concerned about it anyways? I believe this is a temporary patch over the problems. It's convenient. In the moment, one doesn't want to think about it. Why ruin it. Is the one thinking of it better off? No. Vanity it's all. Solomon concluded and it all makes sense. Sometimes it's good to be oblivious. For some it's the preferred way. Subconsciously... "I'm afraid I will collapse and get lost like last time, so I close my eyes and get comfortable where I am. I don't want to think of peaks and valleys. I pretend they are not there or they are not for me. I blend in. I'm like everyone else. I've got my shortcuts to getting high." They are not the real thing. But the way to the peaks lies thru deep valleys. Do you like it real?
One day I have decided to move to London. Seriously. And the day of the move came. It was in August last year. I started writing this post on August 28... Uh! Life caught me in a tumble.
Many Londoners won't like hearing this, but I actually like the rain. It's cool.
Everyday there are new things happening. And everyday I'm thinking to write them down. And everyday that doesn't happen.
Besides new curious things to see, there are some new words to learn as well. For ex. people use serviette for napkin, underground or tube for metro, lue for bathroom (not sure even how to spell it) and so on.
It Does Say Underground and Toilets after all
The accents are something else. But that would be impossible to express in writing. The only case that I remember, just because I could not get it even for the 5th time, is the word "cutlery" that sounded 100% "calorie".
That's because this place is a big jungle where monkeys from all over the world gather and each thinks they know how to speak the language. At first I was worried about my accent and wanted it to sound British. I would be very surprised when people said it's beautiful and even found it sexy. I'm OK with it just being beautiful. Now, I think I will keep it. It's part of the journey of self-acceptance after all.
Part of the London Jungle
Attempts at Keeping it Green
Fascinated
One of the Bridges
People here were very helpful from the first time I stepped on this land. Some offered to help me with the luggage on the steps out of the underground. And no, they did run away with it. Others helped me figure out the payment system for the transportation.
The Real Jungle
People here complain. After all this is not paradise and all the PR and marketing in the world can't hide the real. I heard they complain like nowhere else. I even heard someone feeling bad about complaining prior to coming here. But then, after coming here, he discovered it is actually trendy.
It Looks like People Here Are Not Too Fond of This Place and Their Politicians
Speaking of transportation, very soon I learned it's a money drainer. But not without limits. It's a pretty good service after all. Considering it moves around over 8.5 million people everyday and more.
USEFUL TIPS : If you come to London, even for a short time, get an Oyster card for traveling on any type of transportation (ask the assistants at the tube station). It costs 5 pounds, which will be refunded if you return your card at the end of your trip. With this card you will get a daily cap on your travel so you're not spending endlessly.
You can top it up at any underground station as well as at various convenience shops around the city.
If you don't have enough money for a trip, you can still take a bus for just one trip and then the money will be deducted when you top it up next time. Click for TFL travel fares and more.
Murdarici [Moordarich] was my housemate for the last three months or so. He has many good qualities. One thing I
especially like is how smart he is. Once I asked him to bring me my soap. He
stopped from cleaning himself, looked at me attentively and perked up his ears
as I repeated the request. When he realized I was being silly, he dismissed me, continuing with his cleaning.
"Don't Mind Her. She Likes Me."
He is not one of those needy, clingy cats that nags and rubs
on you. He is super independent and that I absolutely love about him. Once in a
while he comes and lies on my feet. Of course, than I want to pet him and play
with him. But he doesn’t mind if I pet him and play with him any time either. Actually,
he is getting addicted to it. I’ve got to keep him away, lest he becomes clingy
like the rest of the cats.
"I Love It When You Do That"
It took us a while to become friends. He was keeping his
distance before he realized he’s got nothing to fear. Now when I come from
somewhere he runs to me as if I’m his long missing friend.
I forgave him some of his mishandling of my property. One
morning I found the oven open. It had three pieces of chicken left there from
evening. One was missing. After my investigation into the matter, I have
learned that Murdarici is quite capable of opening the oven door and doesn’t
have an issue with getting anything that doesn’t belong to him. I love animals.
There is a saying: since I’ve got to know people, I love my dog even more. Joke.
I love people too. But I do have a problem when pets get into my
stuff, messing it up or eating it. Or I should say, they a have a problem. :)
"My Nose Hurts"
Another thing I love about Murdarici is that he is Mom’s
pest control. One day I even helped him catch a mouse in the barn. The mouse
was in a sack. Murdarici managed to immobilize it, but couldn’t get it out. He also catches birds, when they go to sleep at night in the walnut tree. Ferocious.
Mom & Murdarici Talk a Lot (guess who does most of the talking)
One June morning on the path in the garden, I ran into this dead
rat. It was pretty dead. I mean it’s been there a few hours perhaps, because it
was stiff. Ha! I had my suspicions that it might be Murdarici’s doing, but
didn’t give it much attention. The only thought of concern that crossed my mind
was that he dragged some poisoned rat from somewhere. But I think he's smarter than that.
Dead Rat
Later during breakfast Murdarici came looking at me with big
eyes. I asked him: what’s the matter? Then, I noticed he’s got a bigger nose
and some blood stain on it. He must have been in a ferocious fight and that rat
bit his nose. That’s why he didn’t care to eat it at that point. I empathized with
him as he laid down. Since I was eating, I had to pet him with my feet. He
doesn’t mind.
"Are You Taking a Picture of Me? Stop It."
And of course he is beautiful. Don't you agree? One day, while perhaps chasing after a mouse, he fell
into the outhouse… Yep! Guess who had to clean him? Mom only yelled at him, and chased
him away. So, he was sitting miserable in the grass at the corner of the house,
meowing pathetically. And I had only one rubber glove.
"...My ways are higher than your ways..." - Is. 55:9
Some weeks ago I've cruised on ways unfathomed and learned of things foreign to me. Somehow I ended up at the MakerSpace in Dallas at a meetup on Ventrifuge. I've been thrown into a pool of brilliant, creative techies and my mind feasted on all the curious inventions and ideas people work on. People where talking about hackaton, natural voice recognition, growth
hacking, mc10, bionic skin, muse app, founder2be, founder dating, cofounderslab, kickstarter, indiegogo and on. Back at home, drifting from one concept to another on the wiki pages, one incident caught my attention and has been on my mind for a couple of days (and now weeks). I've learned about the death of Aaron Swartz. It was only mentioned briefly in relation to an event or a product he helped develop. So, I was curious to learn about what I imagined would be an older guy from the tech world. I never heard of one. We usually get stories on entertainment industry celebrities who are old and pass away. Never an IT celebrity. Sadly, Aaron was only 26 and he died by taking away his life. Two years from today. This is something that grabbed my heart. Something is utterly wrong here. I ask Why? I immersed my self in learning about his life, the story around his death, public's reaction to it, and the depression Aaron Shwartz was undergoing. His action described by Boston Globe underline his genius. He downloaded millions of articles, engaging in "a cat-and-mouse game that would extend over
three months. JSTOR would cut off the Internet protocol address Swartz
was using; he would switch to another. MIT detected and shut down the
registration for his computer; he altered his computer’s identifying
information. Officials would conclude the ghost downloader had moved on, then he’d reappear weeks later".
Aaron seemed to have been a wonder of a kid, too smart to just accept thing as they are. Thinking outside the box was part of his DNA. He challenged the system, educational or political, and perhaps was an inconvenience to some.
Thinking outside the box was also the nurturing environment at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where Aaron spent his time. MIT is described as standing for values such as: "compassion and
creativity, challenging authority, and pure scientific inquiry". And MIT
began to embrace, and celebrate, its hacker ethos, which extrapolates to “resenting any person, physical barrier, or law that tries to keep them from doing this”.
Sadly, MIT did not come forth to speak up for Aaron, when its support was most needed. Nor after his attorneys and his father pleaded with them. Now his father "can’t walk through campus without feeling that MIT betrayed his son".
Furthermore, it seems that MIT, although claiming to take a neutral position, has supported the prosecution by handing over many records and helping the secret service hack into Aaron's computer. This action become more severe in the light of the fact that "MIT has consistently sold itself as a leader on open access to scholarship". As a result, fear swept over the students and faculty. Students were afraid to post on official MIT forums openly. Willow Brugh, a Media Lab research affiliate said, “Why would anyone
possibly speak up against an issue like this?...
In order to have academic integrity, you need to have to a safe space
for people to dissent”.
Aaron's father says:
"Aaron had all these resources. He was bright, he had a very competent
legal counsel, he had money, he had a family that supported him, and he
was destroyed by the legal system. I was better connected to people at MIT than almost
anyone else, right? What happens in these instances where people don’t
have these connections and this sort of level of determination? They get
completely crushed."
The prosecution was as shocked by Aaron's desperate gesture. As an explanation, a representative was quoted as saying that the "rule of law must be applied regardless of someone’s talents, stature, or political beliefs". This is ideal, but is it really applied so? Sadly, it is often overlooked when it comes to money and mutual gain. But not in cases like Aaron's.
My intent in starting to write this was to address the depression issue. So, I will make at least some points at the end. I asked myself: where were his friends and support? A reality is that Aaron has lived more "online than he did with his friends". His father was there fighting for him, so I assume his family. I admire this man and the house of ideas, in which he has raised his sons.
Given such pressures and persecution, even a healthy person would develop depression. It would be hard for anyone to withstand such life threat. Aaron already suffered from depression. Did anybody know about it? Is a prosecutor supposed to take it into account?
The prosecution lacked a good psychologist on board. Someone not specialized just in personality disorders or personality pathology, but also in the variety of healthy personalities. Is there actually a Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) somewhere? Was there anyone to provide a psychological profile? How about something like this:
Aaron Sw., a creative, brilliant genius. Non-conformist thinker. Free spirited and somewhat rebellious. Such people are passionate about what is right - justice, equality, freedom. They will point out the wrongs and fight only for what they believe in. They want their point to be understood, because usually it is backed up with facts and research. Yet, they are very sensitive and fragile and feel things deeply - prone to depression. They pay attention to detail and seek perfection in everything they do. The kind of people you would want to build the planes you fly. :)
Apparently, calling what he did a "felony" and threatening him to 35 years in prison, was way too disproportionate to what he did. It did not make sense. This was not the right way for the prosecution to proceed. They lacked wisdom and discernment.
Overlooked in the whole process was his sensitivity and
fragility. He was pushed and not heard. You can pressure a hardcore criminal this way, but certainly you don't use the same methods with everyone. Or do you? This obviously was not a case, where you have to crack someone up to admit something, because they are hiding it or refusing it, even if they know they did it.
The way he was dealt with was not right, it was not fair. And he understood it this way. He made a statement by his very resistance to being called a felon. Of all places and all things, the law is where fairness and justice must shine. It was not just. And isn't justice what the legal system is to uphold? Since such personalities are sensitive to things being just perfectly right, despair builds in, loneliness builds it, isolation builds in, because nobody hears or understands. What did the legal system prove in the end?
Another thing overlooked was his intelligence and insight. As a thinker, he could see into things and understand an issue further and quicker than an average person. Apparently, he was a great asset to society, who's talent could have been employed. Yet he succumbed to the futility of things, amplified by a cruel & cold system approach and his depressive states.
A person of such creativity and intelligence is also a free spirit. He doesn't act in order to harm, but rather there is a logic for a higher good. And Aaron seems to be such case. Must such personality characteristics be overlooked? In favor of coldly following a law? At one point one should get the point. And at one point, one should acknowledge his merit. At one point, one should back up and try to be reasonable.
I think he gave up to early. I think he should have kept fighting. The truth eventually surfaces. And there is always a way out, other than in death. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT. Yet, this is the thing that depression robs you off: one stops believing that there is any hope for your future.
Wherever you are, whatever you do, know there is a way out and if you suffer from depression:
Sleep well, go for walks and connect with REAL people. Talk to a friend (or someone) about it. Don't be embarrassed. You are not alone.
p.s. This case and others have been wake-up calls for the IT entrepreneurial world, as more have shared their experiences with depression.
