My Failure at Failing

You’ve heard of Max Lucado? Considered one of the best writers of our times, he's got this amazing writing style where his prose flows like poetry. Beautiful.

Yet here is one striking fact about Max Lucado: as great as he is, nobody wanted to publish his first book. Do you think he gave up? Obviously, no. But he had to send his manuscript to fifteen publishers before one finally said yes.

John Maxwell, the famous leadership expert, asked him if he felt discouraged and ever considered giving up. Here is what Max Lucado replied: "No. Every time I got the manuscript back, I thought: Well, I’ll just try another publisher”.

Good thing somebody said yes before he ran out of publishers. J

Thumbs up for Lucado. This is what Maxwell calls: the ability fail. I wish I could say I’m good at it, but I’m not. Why? Maybe because nobody likes to fail, me including, and even less people want to admit it. We are geared towards success and we want to tell everyone about our successes. We want people to know us for our successes, don’t we?

Look on Facebook, Instagram or other social media venues. Everyone posts exciting vacation trips, happy family pictures, romantic moments, best shots. Nobody knows that on that trip they had the worst fight and most of the time they were bored; that that family is on the brink of divorce; that although smiling that apparently successful man is in deep depression, about to lose his job, or considering suicide. Many cringe inside, comparing their deepest feeling of misery to others’ most exciting moments, while still hitting like. 

Comparison. The biggest enemy of self-image. The birthplace of a failure mentality, for that matter. But is failure such a bad thing after all?

I’m learning that failure is not failure unless you fail to get up and try again. This is how unsuccessful people think. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. After all, if life is a journey it is ok to hit potholes and bumps, to run out of gas, to get lost, but quitting gets one nowhere.

I’m learning that every successful person has failed many times and that there is value in failure. The founder of Honda Motors said: “Many people dream of success. To me success can be achieved only through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success only represents 1 percent of your work that results from 90 percent of that which is called failure.”

I’m also learning that there is a difference in failing and seeing yourself as a failure. “I have failed” is different than “I’m a failure.” Somebody said that making mistakes is like breathing. But if you regard yourself as a failure you will never be successful, or hope for an improvement, because you’ve made failure your identity.

I’m learning that although many people will measure my success according to how often I have failed, or didn’t succeed, it’s been estimated that most successes failed an average of seven times before they succeed. So, it’s ok. Even if I’m only one step better than last time, I’m making progress.

So, depending on your attitude toward it, failure can make you sink to the bottom or help you along the journey. And a lesson to learn is how to fail forward. 

To do that, I thought to adopt a different attitude when encountering failure, inspired from smarter people, like J. Maxwell:

1.  Not to take it personally – I've messed up. No doubt. I’ll do better next time.
2.  Let it be a learning experience & use it to grow – unwillingness to be stopped by failure & willingness to learn from failure.
3. Not to give up, regardless of what other say – failure comes easily to everyone, but the price of success is perseverance.
4. Let failure redirect my life – it’s just an adjustment, it’s not that I’m bad or wrong. But if the passion is still burning in my heart, the right thing to do is to keep going.
5. Keep a sense of humor – it’s easy to laugh when everything is going great, but it’s important to laugh when everything is going wrong. I love this quote.

There are always possibilities out there. If not, we have the capacity to create them. Look around, everything was created by humans, just like us. Surely, there is a door somewhere. Seek and you’ll find. Knock and it will be open onto you. Even, if sometimes we have to take detours. And when you really want it, someone said that the whole universe will join in to help. I call it the hand of God.

p.s. To the point -  watch and be encouraged.

~60 kids. ~25 flea bites. Why am I doing this?

I’ve had it on my heart all year long – to conduct a camp for kids in my village. So last week that happened. Why? I’ve been asked that question by folks that come from same places and it took me by surprise. Don't you see what I see? In the villages there is still no running water, kids walk around barefoot, there are no kids activities - not much to do for them, except play in the dirt or around the house. They also take care of the chicks and ducklings, some work in the fields, hoeing.

Many parents are gone abroad, the kids staying with grandmas and aunts. Many families are drinking heavily. There is a breeze of despair in the air. People are harsh, but they accept life as it is. Few try to change things and that mostly includes a new fence or a home repair. Kids just grow along.

Scouting around the village in search for kids

So, we sang, we danced, we screamed, we played, we talked, we created, we laughed and did many other fun things.  We also explored some things. We explored emotions. Only a handful knew what those are. We talked about how the negative ones get in the way of our life, how fear of people poisons us.

Milano - Looking Back

This past May I visited the north part of Italy. Although it rained most of the time - not the usual weather - some days were sunny and favorable for exploring...

You know how sometimes in order to understand something you’ve got to be there and experience it? So is Milano. Why are people, celebrities or Russians so drawn to it? I’m not sure, but this is what I think it is:

It’s the magnificence of creation. It’s art within art.  An electrifying clash of antique and modern. 

It’s spacious, grand, luxurious, beautiful… The exuberant architecture encapsulates the diversity of clothing styles, both a hallmark of God’s gift of creativity and aesthetic to humans. No human could fail to appreciate it, because in every human soul there is a longing for beauty, a longing for greatness and a longing for fascination.

Although just an echo of eternity, it gives a glimpse of the pleasure that awaits each child of God.

Of course, there are those who can care less about this side of things. Those would use a piece of clothing bought in Italy to pump their ego, reassure themselves of their importance and try to impress.

Tell me One Thing...

Wow!!! What a great blogger I am. I'm consistently posting at a frequency of one post per year. So impressive. I'm even considering starting a second blog... Uh!

It seems that life happens at such speed and I don't have the time to sit and record it. I'm afraid to miss smth. So many stories I could have written just as great as the others about how "wonderful" life can be.

Sometimes I wonder if anybody really would like my stories, since they all have this sharp cutting edge. Perhaps you are looking for something more inspiring?.. Well, I guess whatever impresses me, I write. And some things I find shockingly impressive. Like for instance, the public minibus driver who calls a 9 year old a "debil", which really means "idiot", "retarded". Should I tell you why? Or does it really matter? Poor kid was struggling to close the door, so when it finally closed, it slammed. What is even more impressive is that none of the adults said anything to that, nobody raised to defend the child... Funny society.

Hot chocolate in the middle of the night (almost like coffee)

Or a friend tells me her supervisor is "chewing" her out. When she complained to higher authorities the response she got was: try to be manipulative, be "nicer" to her (which really meant: 'kiss her butt'). I don't know why I find this hysterically sad. Perhaps I'm pretty naive. When will I grow up finally?!

Dare...to Fail

or The Recipe for Despair

That's not easy. For some daring to fail it's unthinkable. Would you like your child like this? Get some insights into the psychological build-up of dare-to-fail failures. This will help you build up the perfect candidate out of anyone, even adults. If you dare to fail, of course! So, here are 10 rules to follow everyday:

1. Rarely greet your child. When he says Hi, don't respond.
2. When he/she walks in the room, don't look at him (never smile!).
3. When he/she ask a question, pretend you are busy and don't respond.
4. If he/she nags you, insisting, answer irritated: What do you want?
5. Never praise him/her for anything good they did.
6. In everything they do: always look for some imperfection to criticize.
7. If you don't find any flaw, simply keep a sober face and don't say a word.

My Chicken Identity & The Bribe

I'm sitting here trying to write my paper...I picked the Development of Old Age and Related Issues. I'm just curious about this topic. Besides, I don't think anybody else picked it. But, my mind is drifting away...

The statements of the psychology teacher that women have evolved from chicken are echoing in my ears... Yes, she was dead serious about it. She says she saw the comparison between brains and that they look similar. Also, she asks: "Did you notices how chicken are looking at the sun? Tilting their head on one side? Women do the same."

My great great great great great great.... grandma.

I guess there are exception, as with anything... But isn't it just so confidence-boosting? It so builds up self-esteem and helps a great deal, if one is uncertain of his/her identity. It's great to finally know you are kin-souls with a chicken; to feel the connection, when you're about to have it for dinner...

USA in Retrospective: Curiosities and Impressions

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On People…

Portland is very much community oriented. People are usually very friendly, networking, creating relationships, open to help each other, hang out with each other, that’s why the laid back feel of Portland as opposed to cold, living in a bubble lifestyle in cities like New York and Los Angeles.

People in US can be as miserable as in any country where the living conditions are far worse. There is discontentment with what they have, worry, anxiety, stress and depression. There is lack of values and purpose in life. People commit suicide.

There is much more superficiality in relationships. People are nicer outwardly, but it doesn’t always reflect what they mean. They are just as reluctant and hesitant to trust others and be open. They usually hide their true feelings under a smile.

In the Pacific Northwest particularly, people are very environment conscious, almost going to extremes, telling you when going into a forest were you are supposed to step and where not. They care about animals and wildlife, sometimes more then about people.

On Lifestyle…

There are many old people, living alone in huge, large houses, with lots of stuff accumulated: furniture, canned food, cleaning supplies, tools, clothes, electrical appliances, cookware, etc. etc. This will all get thrown away or sold for pennies after they die. I thought of the many in Moldova that lack the basics.

There are plenty of gay people outwardly showing their orientation. There are pastors who are gay that live with their partners. The mayor of Portland is gay involved in a scandalous affair, because he lied he had sex with an intern, prior to his election in the office, before that boy turned 18.

A lot of the bums there are dressed better than many people in Moldova, meaning you’d never guess that is a bum. There are services that take care of them, so that according to the official statements, there is no reason for anybody in Portland to go hungry.

People there are used to recycling everything, so they will never throw all trash in a pile. They separate glass, paper, newspaper, carton, tin cans (after are cut, washed, bent flat, and the paper tag removed) yard waste (leaves, grass, branches), plastic, and then what is left goes to regular trash.

On Religion…

There are all kinds of churches, however, people follow various religions, a lot into Buddhism and its various implications. Churches that accept gay people usually hang out a multicolored flag outside the building. Churches remain rigid and opinionated about things, this way often pushing people away.