One day I have decided to move to London. Seriously. And the day of the move came. It was in August last year. I started writing this post on August 28... Uh! Life caught me in a tumble.
Many Londoners won't like hearing this, but I actually like the rain. It's cool.
Everyday there are new things happening. And everyday I'm thinking to write them down. And everyday that doesn't happen.
Besides new curious things to see, there are some new words to learn as well. For ex. people use serviette for napkin, underground or tube for metro, lue for bathroom (not sure even how to spell it) and so on.
It Does Say Underground and Toilets after all
The accents are something else. But that would be impossible to express in writing. The only case that I remember, just because I could not get it even for the 5th time, is the word "cutlery" that sounded 100% "calorie".
That's because this place is a big jungle where monkeys from all over the world gather and each thinks they know how to speak the language. At first I was worried about my accent and wanted it to sound British. I would be very surprised when people said it's beautiful and even found it sexy. I'm OK with it just being beautiful. Now, I think I will keep it. It's part of the journey of self-acceptance after all.
Part of the London Jungle
Attempts at Keeping it Green
Fascinated
One of the Bridges
People here were very helpful from the first time I stepped on this land. Some offered to help me with the luggage on the steps out of the underground. And no, they did run away with it. Others helped me figure out the payment system for the transportation.
The Real Jungle
People here complain. After all this is not paradise and all the PR and marketing in the world can't hide the real. I heard they complain like nowhere else. I even heard someone feeling bad about complaining prior to coming here. But then, after coming here, he discovered it is actually trendy.
It Looks like People Here Are Not Too Fond of This Place and Their Politicians
Speaking of transportation, very soon I learned it's a money drainer. But not without limits. It's a pretty good service after all. Considering it moves around over 8.5 million people everyday and more.
USEFUL TIPS : If you come to London, even for a short time, get an Oyster card for traveling on any type of transportation (ask the assistants at the tube station). It costs 5 pounds, which will be refunded if you return your card at the end of your trip. With this card you will get a daily cap on your travel so you're not spending endlessly.
You can top it up at any underground station as well as at various convenience shops around the city.
If you don't have enough money for a trip, you can still take a bus for just one trip and then the money will be deducted when you top it up next time. Click for TFL travel fares and more.
Murdarici [Moordarich] was my housemate for the last three months or so. He has many good qualities. One thing I
especially like is how smart he is. Once I asked him to bring me my soap. He
stopped from cleaning himself, looked at me attentively and perked up his ears
as I repeated the request. When he realized I was being silly, he dismissed me, continuing with his cleaning.
"Don't Mind Her. She Likes Me."
He is not one of those needy, clingy cats that nags and rubs
on you. He is super independent and that I absolutely love about him. Once in a
while he comes and lies on my feet. Of course, than I want to pet him and play
with him. But he doesn’t mind if I pet him and play with him any time either. Actually,
he is getting addicted to it. I’ve got to keep him away, lest he becomes clingy
like the rest of the cats.
"I Love It When You Do That"
It took us a while to become friends. He was keeping his
distance before he realized he’s got nothing to fear. Now when I come from
somewhere he runs to me as if I’m his long missing friend.
I forgave him some of his mishandling of my property. One
morning I found the oven open. It had three pieces of chicken left there from
evening. One was missing. After my investigation into the matter, I have
learned that Murdarici is quite capable of opening the oven door and doesn’t
have an issue with getting anything that doesn’t belong to him. I love animals.
There is a saying: since I’ve got to know people, I love my dog even more. Joke.
I love people too. But I do have a problem when pets get into my
stuff, messing it up or eating it. Or I should say, they a have a problem. :)
"My Nose Hurts"
Another thing I love about Murdarici is that he is Mom’s
pest control. One day I even helped him catch a mouse in the barn. The mouse
was in a sack. Murdarici managed to immobilize it, but couldn’t get it out. He also catches birds, when they go to sleep at night in the walnut tree. Ferocious.
Mom & Murdarici Talk a Lot (guess who does most of the talking)
One June morning on the path in the garden, I ran into this dead
rat. It was pretty dead. I mean it’s been there a few hours perhaps, because it
was stiff. Ha! I had my suspicions that it might be Murdarici’s doing, but
didn’t give it much attention. The only thought of concern that crossed my mind
was that he dragged some poisoned rat from somewhere. But I think he's smarter than that.
Dead Rat
Later during breakfast Murdarici came looking at me with big
eyes. I asked him: what’s the matter? Then, I noticed he’s got a bigger nose
and some blood stain on it. He must have been in a ferocious fight and that rat
bit his nose. That’s why he didn’t care to eat it at that point. I empathized with
him as he laid down. Since I was eating, I had to pet him with my feet. He
doesn’t mind.
"Are You Taking a Picture of Me? Stop It."
And of course he is beautiful. Don't you agree? One day, while perhaps chasing after a mouse, he fell
into the outhouse… Yep! Guess who had to clean him? Mom only yelled at him, and chased
him away. So, he was sitting miserable in the grass at the corner of the house,
meowing pathetically. And I had only one rubber glove.
"...My ways are higher than your ways..." - Is. 55:9
Some weeks ago I've cruised on ways unfathomed and learned of things foreign to me. Somehow I ended up at the MakerSpace in Dallas at a meetup on Ventrifuge. I've been thrown into a pool of brilliant, creative techies and my mind feasted on all the curious inventions and ideas people work on. People where talking about hackaton, natural voice recognition, growth
hacking, mc10, bionic skin, muse app, founder2be, founder dating, cofounderslab, kickstarter, indiegogo and on. Back at home, drifting from one concept to another on the wiki pages, one incident caught my attention and has been on my mind for a couple of days (and now weeks). I've learned about the death of Aaron Swartz. It was only mentioned briefly in relation to an event or a product he helped develop. So, I was curious to learn about what I imagined would be an older guy from the tech world. I never heard of one. We usually get stories on entertainment industry celebrities who are old and pass away. Never an IT celebrity. Sadly, Aaron was only 26 and he died by taking away his life. Two years from today. This is something that grabbed my heart. Something is utterly wrong here. I ask Why? I immersed my self in learning about his life, the story around his death, public's reaction to it, and the depression Aaron Shwartz was undergoing. His action described by Boston Globe underline his genius. He downloaded millions of articles, engaging in "a cat-and-mouse game that would extend over
three months. JSTOR would cut off the Internet protocol address Swartz
was using; he would switch to another. MIT detected and shut down the
registration for his computer; he altered his computer’s identifying
information. Officials would conclude the ghost downloader had moved on, then he’d reappear weeks later".
Aaron seemed to have been a wonder of a kid, too smart to just accept thing as they are. Thinking outside the box was part of his DNA. He challenged the system, educational or political, and perhaps was an inconvenience to some.
Thinking outside the box was also the nurturing environment at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where Aaron spent his time. MIT is described as standing for values such as: "compassion and
creativity, challenging authority, and pure scientific inquiry". And MIT
began to embrace, and celebrate, its hacker ethos, which extrapolates to “resenting any person, physical barrier, or law that tries to keep them from doing this”.
Sadly, MIT did not come forth to speak up for Aaron, when its support was most needed. Nor after his attorneys and his father pleaded with them. Now his father "can’t walk through campus without feeling that MIT betrayed his son".
Furthermore, it seems that MIT, although claiming to take a neutral position, has supported the prosecution by handing over many records and helping the secret service hack into Aaron's computer. This action become more severe in the light of the fact that "MIT has consistently sold itself as a leader on open access to scholarship". As a result, fear swept over the students and faculty. Students were afraid to post on official MIT forums openly. Willow Brugh, a Media Lab research affiliate said, “Why would anyone
possibly speak up against an issue like this?...
In order to have academic integrity, you need to have to a safe space
for people to dissent”.
Aaron's father says:
"Aaron had all these resources. He was bright, he had a very competent
legal counsel, he had money, he had a family that supported him, and he
was destroyed by the legal system. I was better connected to people at MIT than almost
anyone else, right? What happens in these instances where people don’t
have these connections and this sort of level of determination? They get
completely crushed."
The prosecution was as shocked by Aaron's desperate gesture. As an explanation, a representative was quoted as saying that the "rule of law must be applied regardless of someone’s talents, stature, or political beliefs". This is ideal, but is it really applied so? Sadly, it is often overlooked when it comes to money and mutual gain. But not in cases like Aaron's.
My intent in starting to write this was to address the depression issue. So, I will make at least some points at the end. I asked myself: where were his friends and support? A reality is that Aaron has lived more "online than he did with his friends". His father was there fighting for him, so I assume his family. I admire this man and the house of ideas, in which he has raised his sons.
Given such pressures and persecution, even a healthy person would develop depression. It would be hard for anyone to withstand such life threat. Aaron already suffered from depression. Did anybody know about it? Is a prosecutor supposed to take it into account?
The prosecution lacked a good psychologist on board. Someone not specialized just in personality disorders or personality pathology, but also in the variety of healthy personalities. Is there actually a Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) somewhere? Was there anyone to provide a psychological profile? How about something like this:
Aaron Sw., a creative, brilliant genius. Non-conformist thinker. Free spirited and somewhat rebellious. Such people are passionate about what is right - justice, equality, freedom. They will point out the wrongs and fight only for what they believe in. They want their point to be understood, because usually it is backed up with facts and research. Yet, they are very sensitive and fragile and feel things deeply - prone to depression. They pay attention to detail and seek perfection in everything they do. The kind of people you would want to build the planes you fly. :)
Apparently, calling what he did a "felony" and threatening him to 35 years in prison, was way too disproportionate to what he did. It did not make sense. This was not the right way for the prosecution to proceed. They lacked wisdom and discernment.
Overlooked in the whole process was his sensitivity and
fragility. He was pushed and not heard. You can pressure a hardcore criminal this way, but certainly you don't use the same methods with everyone. Or do you? This obviously was not a case, where you have to crack someone up to admit something, because they are hiding it or refusing it, even if they know they did it.
The way he was dealt with was not right, it was not fair. And he understood it this way. He made a statement by his very resistance to being called a felon. Of all places and all things, the law is where fairness and justice must shine. It was not just. And isn't justice what the legal system is to uphold? Since such personalities are sensitive to things being just perfectly right, despair builds in, loneliness builds it, isolation builds in, because nobody hears or understands. What did the legal system prove in the end?
Another thing overlooked was his intelligence and insight. As a thinker, he could see into things and understand an issue further and quicker than an average person. Apparently, he was a great asset to society, who's talent could have been employed. Yet he succumbed to the futility of things, amplified by a cruel & cold system approach and his depressive states.
A person of such creativity and intelligence is also a free spirit. He doesn't act in order to harm, but rather there is a logic for a higher good. And Aaron seems to be such case. Must such personality characteristics be overlooked? In favor of coldly following a law? At one point one should get the point. And at one point, one should acknowledge his merit. At one point, one should back up and try to be reasonable.
I think he gave up to early. I think he should have kept fighting. The truth eventually surfaces. And there is always a way out, other than in death. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT. Yet, this is the thing that depression robs you off: one stops believing that there is any hope for your future.
Wherever you are, whatever you do, know there is a way out and if you suffer from depression:
Sleep well, go for walks and connect with REAL people. Talk to a friend (or someone) about it. Don't be embarrassed. You are not alone.
p.s. This case and others have been wake-up calls for the IT entrepreneurial world, as more have shared their experiences with depression.
You’ve heard of Max Lucado? Considered one of the best writers of our times, he's got this amazing writing style where his prose flows like poetry. Beautiful.
Yet here is one striking fact
about Max Lucado: as great as he is, nobody wanted to publish his first book.
Do you think he gave up? Obviously, no. But he had to send his manuscript to
fifteen publishers before one finally said yes.
John Maxwell, the famous leadership expert, asked him if he felt
discouraged and ever considered giving up. Here is what Max Lucado replied: "No. Every time I got the manuscript back, I thought: Well, I’ll just
try another publisher”.
Good thing somebody said yes before
he ran out of publishers. J
Thumbs up for Lucado. This is what Maxwell calls: the
ability fail. I wish I could say I’m good at it, but I’m not. Why? Maybe because nobody
likes to fail, me including, and even less people want to admit it. We are
geared towards success and we want to tell everyone about our successes. We
want people to know us for our successes, don’t we?
Look on Facebook, Instagram or other social media venues. Everyone posts exciting vacation trips, happy
family pictures, romantic moments, best shots. Nobody knows that on that trip
they had the worst fight and most of the time they were bored; that that family
is on the brink of divorce; that although smiling that apparently successful
man is in deep depression, about to lose his job, or considering suicide. Many
cringe inside, comparing their deepest feeling of misery to others’ most exciting
moments, while still hitting like.
Comparison. The biggest enemy of
self-image. The birthplace of a failure mentality, for that matter. But is
failure such a bad thing after all?
I’m learning that failure is not
failure unless you fail to get up and try again. This is how unsuccessful people
think. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. After all, if life is a journey it is ok to hit potholes and bumps, to run out of gas, to
get lost, but quitting gets one nowhere.
I’m learning that every successful
person has failed many times and that there is value in failure. The founder of
Honda Motors said: “Many people dream of success. To me success can be achieved
only through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success only
represents 1 percent of your work that results from 90 percent of that which is
called failure.”
I’m also learning that there is a
difference in failing and seeing yourself as a failure. “I have failed” is
different than “I’m a failure.” Somebody said that making mistakes is like
breathing. But if you regard yourself as a failure you will never be successful,
or hope for an improvement, because you’ve made failure your identity.
I’m learning that although many
people will measure my success according to how often I have failed, or didn’t
succeed, it’s been estimated that most successes failed an average of seven
times before they succeed. So, it’s ok. Even if I’m only one step better than
last time, I’m making progress.
So, depending on your attitude
toward it, failure can make you sink to the bottom or help you along the
journey. And a lesson to learn is how to fail forward.
To do that, I thought to adopt a different attitude when encountering failure, inspired from smarter people, like J. Maxwell:
Not
to take it personally – I've messed up. No doubt. I’ll do better next time.
Let
it be a learning experience & use it to grow – unwillingness to be stopped
by failure & willingness to learn from failure.
Not
to give up, regardless of what other say – failure comes easily to everyone,
but the price of success is perseverance.
Let
failure redirect my life – it’s just an adjustment, it’s not that I’m bad or
wrong. But if the passion is still burning in my heart, the right thing to do is
to keep going.
Keep
a sense of humor – it’s easy to laugh when everything is going great, but it’s
important to laugh when everything is going wrong. I love this quote.
There are always possibilities out
there. If not, we have the capacity to create them. Look around, everything was
created by humans, just like us. Surely, there is a door somewhere. Seek and
you’ll find. Knock and it will be open onto you. Even, if sometimes we have to
take detours. And when you really want it, someone said that the whole universe
will join in to help. I call it the hand of God.
That’s right who wouldn’t… Yesterday I went shopping.
Initially, I was going to spend 30 min. on it, but what an impractical idea… Why
did I think I that I could never spend 4 hours in one store only?
I used to think the saying “shop till you drop” was made up
because it rimes beautifully, but now I know it actually is true. When my friend
Ann arrived 5 hours later I was asking her, if she has something to eat.
After another two hours inthe next store I chose two items and was ready to go. Yes, only
two. After all that time? Exactly. Whoever thinks shopping is just for fun or a
waste of time… not true. I realized this is a way to build up your biceps,
gluteus maximus, quadriceps, back, abdominals, cardio, and many more. Not to forget
the brain employment that goes into sorting, comparing, analyzing and deciding.
The real fun awaited me in the end. The original total price was
$84. But with all the discounts and the coupons the store offered, I
ended up paying $1.52. I walked out of that store with the sensation that I got
hit with a canister. Really? $1.52? Hah! What a steal!
I love this country. Who wouldn’t?
And listen to this. If for any reason I’m not happy with my
purchase I can return it within a couple or three months and get all my money
back. This is called the return policy. For that money, why wouldn’t one be
happy with any purchase?
I’ve had it on my heart all year long – to conduct a camp
for kids in my village. So last week that happened. Why? I’ve been asked that question by folks that come
from same places and it took me by surprise. Don't you see what I see? In the villages there is still no running water, kids walk around barefoot, there are no kids activities - not much to do for them, except
play in the dirt or around the house. They also take care of the chicks and ducklings,
some work in the fields, hoeing.
Many parents are gone abroad, the kids staying with grandmas
and aunts. Many families are drinking heavily. There is a breeze of despair in
the air. People are harsh, but they accept life as it is. Few try to change
things and that mostly includes a new fence or a home repair. Kids just grow along.
Scouting around the village in search for kids
So, we sang, we danced, we screamed, we played,
we talked, we created, we laughed and did many other fun things.We also explored some things. We explored emotions. Only a handful knew
what those are. We talked about how the negative ones get in the way of our
life, how fear of people poisons us.
