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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

My Failure at Failing

You’ve heard of Max Lucado? Considered one of the best writers of our times, he's got this amazing writing style where his prose flows like poetry. Beautiful.

Yet here is one striking fact about Max Lucado: as great as he is, nobody wanted to publish his first book. Do you think he gave up? Obviously, no. But he had to send his manuscript to fifteen publishers before one finally said yes.

John Maxwell, the famous leadership expert, asked him if he felt discouraged and ever considered giving up. Here is what Max Lucado replied: "No. Every time I got the manuscript back, I thought: Well, I’ll just try another publisher”.

Good thing somebody said yes before he ran out of publishers. J

Thumbs up for Lucado. This is what Maxwell calls: the ability fail. I wish I could say I’m good at it, but I’m not. Why? Maybe because nobody likes to fail, me including, and even less people want to admit it. We are geared towards success and we want to tell everyone about our successes. We want people to know us for our successes, don’t we?

Look on Facebook, Instagram or other social media venues. Everyone posts exciting vacation trips, happy family pictures, romantic moments, best shots. Nobody knows that on that trip they had the worst fight and most of the time they were bored; that that family is on the brink of divorce; that although smiling that apparently successful man is in deep depression, about to lose his job, or considering suicide. Many cringe inside, comparing their deepest feeling of misery to others’ most exciting moments, while still hitting like. 

Comparison. The biggest enemy of self-image. The birthplace of a failure mentality, for that matter. But is failure such a bad thing after all?

I’m learning that failure is not failure unless you fail to get up and try again. This is how unsuccessful people think. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. After all, if life is a journey it is ok to hit potholes and bumps, to run out of gas, to get lost, but quitting gets one nowhere.

I’m learning that every successful person has failed many times and that there is value in failure. The founder of Honda Motors said: “Many people dream of success. To me success can be achieved only through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success only represents 1 percent of your work that results from 90 percent of that which is called failure.”

I’m also learning that there is a difference in failing and seeing yourself as a failure. “I have failed” is different than “I’m a failure.” Somebody said that making mistakes is like breathing. But if you regard yourself as a failure you will never be successful, or hope for an improvement, because you’ve made failure your identity.

I’m learning that although many people will measure my success according to how often I have failed, or didn’t succeed, it’s been estimated that most successes failed an average of seven times before they succeed. So, it’s ok. Even if I’m only one step better than last time, I’m making progress.

So, depending on your attitude toward it, failure can make you sink to the bottom or help you along the journey. And a lesson to learn is how to fail forward. 

To do that, I thought to adopt a different attitude when encountering failure, inspired from smarter people, like J. Maxwell:
  1.  Not to take it personally – I've messed up. No doubt. I’ll do better next time.
  2.  Let it be a learning experience & use it to grow – unwillingness to be stopped by failure & willingness to learn from failure.
  3. Not to give up, regardless of what other say – failure comes easily to everyone, but the price of success is perseverance.
  4. Let failure redirect my life – it’s just an adjustment, it’s not that I’m bad or wrong. But if the passion is still burning in my heart, the right thing to do is to keep going.
  5. Keep a sense of humor – it’s easy to laugh when everything is going great, but it’s important to laugh when everything is going wrong. I love this quote.
There are always possibilities out there. If not, we have the capacity to create them. Look around, everything was created by humans, just like us. Surely, there is a door somewhere. Seek and you’ll find. Knock and it will be open onto you. Even, if sometimes we have to take detours. And when you really want it, someone said that the whole universe will join in to help. I call it the hand of God.

p.s. To the point -  watch and be encouraged.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

I Love This Country

That’s right who wouldn’t… Yesterday I went shopping. Initially, I was going to spend 30 min. on it, but what an impractical idea… Why did I think I that I could never spend 4 hours in one store only?  

I used to think the saying “shop till you drop” was made up because it rimes beautifully, but now I know it actually is true. When my friend Ann arrived 5 hours later I was asking her, if she has something to eat. 

After another two hours in the next store I chose two items and was ready to go. Yes, only two. After all that time? Exactly. Whoever thinks shopping is just for fun or a waste of time… not true. I realized this is a way to build up your biceps, gluteus maximus, quadriceps, back, abdominals, cardio, and many more. Not to forget the brain employment that goes into sorting, comparing, analyzing and deciding.

The real fun awaited me in the end. The original total price was $84. But with all the discounts and the coupons the store offered, I ended up paying $1.52. I walked out of that store with the sensation that I got hit with a canister. Really? $1.52? Hah! What a steal!
I love this country. Who wouldn’t?

And listen to this. If for any reason I’m not happy with my purchase I can return it within a couple or three months and get all my money back. This is called the return policy. For that money, why wouldn’t one be happy with any purchase?

Friday, February 28, 2014

Crez (satiră la adresa gândirii moderne)

de Steve Turner
(English version here)

Noi credem Marxfreudșidarwin.
Credem că totul e OK
atâta vreme cât nu rănești pe nimeni -
dar asta depinde, evident, de ce înțelegi tu prin a răni
și de cunoștințele tale în această privință.

Noi credem în sexul înainte, în timpul
și după căsătorie.
Credem în terapia păcatului.
Credem că adulterul e plăcut.
Credem că sodomia e OK
și credem că tabu-urile sunt tabu.

Noi credem că totul merge din ce în ce mai bine
În ciuda dovezilor care mărturisesc contrariul.
Dovezile, desigur, trebuie cercetate
Și cu ajutorul dovezilor poți demonstra orice.

Noi credem că e ceva interesant în horoscoape,
în OZN-uri și în lingurile îndoite;
Isus a fost un om bun, la fel ca Budda,
Mahomed și noi înșine.
A fost un bun învățător moral, deși noi considerăm
Că morala Lui cea bună a fost rea.

Noi credem că toate religiile sunt în esență la fel
– cel puțin religia despre care am citit.
Că toate cred în dragoste și în bunătate.
Ele diferă doar în chestiuni legate de creație,
păcat, rai, iad, Dumnezeu și mântuire.

Noi credem că după moarte urmează Nimicul,
fiindcă atunci când îi întrebăm pe morți ce se întâmplă,
ei nu spun nimic.
Dacă moartea nu e sfârșitul și dacă morții mint,
                atunci raiul e obligatoriu pentru toți,
poate în afara de
Hitler, Stalin și Ginghis Han.

Noi credem în Masters și Johnson.*
Ceea ce este select este mediocru
Ceea ce este mediocru este normal
Ceea ce este normal este bun.

Noi credem în dezarmarea totală.
Credem că există o legătură nemijlocită între război și
vărsarea de sânge.
Americanii ar trebui să-și transforme armele în tractoare
și rușii ar trebuie să le urmeze exemplul.

Noi credem că omul este în esență bun.
Numai comportamentul lui nu corespunde.
Aceasta e din vina societății.
Societatea este așa din vina condițiilor.
Condițiile sunt așa din vina societății.

Noi credem că fiecare om trebuie să găsească adevărul
care i se potrivește cel mai bine.
Atunci realitatea se va conforma numaidecât.
Universul va face modificările de rigoare.
Istoria se va schimba.
Noi credem că nu există adevăr absolut
cu excepția adevărului că nu există adevăr absolut.

Noi credem în respingerea crezurilor
Și în înflorirea gândirii libere.

--------------------------------------------------------
post-scriptum

Dacă întâmplarea este
Părintele oricărei făpturi,
Atunci dezastrul este curcubeul său din nori.
Iar când ai auzi:

”Stare de urgență!”
”Lunetistul a ucis zece oameni!”
”Trupele se dedau la violență!”
”Școală distrusă de bombă!”

Nu ar fi decât glasul omului
care se închină creatorului său.